Hello again! I decided to keep to my word and make my second post within the first week. This will not be a long log but hey, at least I'm doing it! =) For those of you that may not have read the first post, I made a few goals for myself.
They were:
* stop apologizing
* take credit for my accomplishments
* complete a half marathon
So Far:
Okay, so in regards to the whole "not apologizing" thing.... not going so great. I have become extremely aware of the fact that I say it so much that I wasn't even realizing when I was saying it at times! It's okay, though. I'm not giving up!😌
You guys, I am registering for my half marathon! ( Just waiting for my next paycheck 😉) It is on August 25th. I have been doing a program where I am learning to do more long distance running. Before this, I had run (jogged) at most around 2 miles. I felt like death afterward and it was rare for me to do more than a mile. I am now doing combinations of running and walking. By walking, I am going around 3.5/3.7mph. Earlier this week, I was on a vacation so instead of running, I hiked/ walked trails for around 10 miles a day. I decided this was a fair trade for a few days. 😊I'm going to stay completely open and honest. Not just for you guys, but for myself to look back at my progress. Today, sticking to my program, which included both a 5-minute warm-up and walking cooldown, I completed 3.25 miles and it took me 45 minutes. Is that amazing? No. But for me, it is! It's progress! I'm currently running for two minutes and then walking for 3 minutes. I only have a day or so more of this until it increases my running time. I may not have a "good" time at the end of August, but I believe I can do this!
In regards to taking credit for my accomplishments and being proud of myself, well, here I just did! I'll try to have more to share about next time. Until then, Have a great week!😍
~Ashley
P.S. - If anyone has any tips or suggestions, please, let me know!
Saturday, March 23, 2019
Saturday, March 16, 2019
What am I Doing?!
Hey guys!.... Am I allowed to start a blog this way? Is there a "right " way to do it? Eh, I'm probably talking to myself anyway. 😊
This past year, I have taken a lot of time to think about what I want to do with my life. What am I happy about? What needs to change? How can I make these changes? Today, I am going to publicly address each of those questions. Oh, and I'll also explain why the name of this Blog is "Butimus One."
1. What am I happy about?
* I am proud of my career. Did I actually use the C word? Yes I did, darn it. I am 25 years old and have had 10 different jobs ( not including the little tutoring/ babysitting side gigs.) I am a first grade teacher and I absolutely love every crazy second of it.
* I love my fur babies. I have three dogs; Piper (the nearly 6 year old Pomeranian who believes she controls any room she walks into), Rocco (the blue heeler/ lab mix who was picked up at a gas station and can steal your heart in a matter of seconds), and Maximus ( long story.)
* I love my Lord. No matter what I have been through or have done, God will always be there.
* I love the town I now live in. I have moved more than 10 times in my life and, for the first time since I went away to college, I have found a place I will actually call "home."
2. What needs to change?
* I am extremely hard on myself. I constantly replay anything I have said to another person in my head, wondering if it could be taken the wrong way or if I should have said it differently. I make myself feel straight up stupid to the point that, at times, I won't say a word because, in my head, I've already said like 10 things to someone next to me and not one of the fake scenarios ended in my favor. Instead, I sit there, feeling stupid until the person is no longer present and then I beat myself up about it. Even worse, is when I do say something because ,God knows, if I have ever come back and apologized to you personally or via text message about potentially offending you, you can be sure I had been thinking solely about what I had said from the point it occurred until the moment I contacted you. My stomach was in knots and then stayed that way until I (hopefully) received a response.
* I never take credit for my own accomplishments. At some point in my life, I decided if I said I was proud of myself for doing something well, I was being a braggart. I would be outcast if I actually directed attention to myself because I I didn't deserve it. Someone had done whatever I had better than me so how dare I feel accomplished.
* I can't give myself a compliment. I tell other women how beautiful they are but you would have never heard me call myself that word.
* I let fear keep me from doing what I truly want to do.
3. How can I make these changes
* I am going to stop apologizing. No, this doesn't mean if I bump into someone I won't give a quick ," oh I'm sorry, are you okay?" If I offend you, I'm sorry, but this is something I need to work on and the way I am going to do that is by not apologizing for the next month. ( Okay, we won't count that one. 😉)
* I am going to start writing about what I should be proud of myself for! I'm going to stop worrying about people's opinion of if I am being too boastful or full of myself. The book I just read had the line, " other people's opinion of you is none of your business." Those words have been running through my mind since I read them.
* I am starting training for a half marathon today. In junior high, we had the dreaded mile run. Oh. My. God. It was awful. It wasn't just the run itself. I was never even able to finish. Unknown to me, I had asthma and I would look and breathe so horribly, my gym teacher wouldn’t let me finish! That stuck with me. No, I don't blame the teacher. I probably looked like I would die. I felt like it. But from that moment until about a year or so ago, I believed that I could never be a runner. I also have a bad knee and a hip that pops out on the same leg. A few weeks ago, for the first time ever, I ran 2 miles consecutively. I was so proud of myself! I wanted to post it on Facebook but as I opened the website, the first post I saw on the feed was about someone running 6 miles. I was like... okay yeah I'm an embarrassment. Yes, I told a coworker and my parents. But I didn't let myself be happy with my own accomplishment. I also said to myself, " well, I will never be able to do that." I'm sick of being the one to tell myself "I can't" when what I should really be saying is, " it won't be easy but I will do my best."
On this blog, I will give updates on my training for my first half marathon, as well as my other challenges to myself. As previously stated, I'm going to explain what in the world "butimus (BOO-TI- MUS) one" is. When I was a little one, my mother (who is also a teacher) would already be at work when it was time for me to get ready. My father was givien the wonderful task of trying to get me ready each day from preschool on up. Now, I have an amazing father, but as crazy as it sounds, he didn't grow up styling women's hair! Being the awesome guy he is, he still attempted every day by putting my hair in a ponytail. When he finished, he would say "okay turn around!" If it looked halfway decent, he would shout, " butimus!" If it was absolutely terrible, he'd say, ".... not so butimus. Turn around."
When I was a kid, I learned license plates had 7 spaces. I told dad, mine will say, " BUTIMUS." I never got that plate. Not because it wasn't available or I didn't want to pay for the vanity. I was afraid I would sound cocky and I would get out of the car and not look so " butimus." I felt that I couldn't have picked a more fitting name for this page.
If you have gotten this far, thank you! I will try to update at least once per week with my progress.... but if I don't.....I am not apologizing .
Ashley
This past year, I have taken a lot of time to think about what I want to do with my life. What am I happy about? What needs to change? How can I make these changes? Today, I am going to publicly address each of those questions. Oh, and I'll also explain why the name of this Blog is "Butimus One."
1. What am I happy about?
* I am proud of my career. Did I actually use the C word? Yes I did, darn it. I am 25 years old and have had 10 different jobs ( not including the little tutoring/ babysitting side gigs.) I am a first grade teacher and I absolutely love every crazy second of it.
* I love my fur babies. I have three dogs; Piper (the nearly 6 year old Pomeranian who believes she controls any room she walks into), Rocco (the blue heeler/ lab mix who was picked up at a gas station and can steal your heart in a matter of seconds), and Maximus ( long story.)
* I love my Lord. No matter what I have been through or have done, God will always be there.
* I love the town I now live in. I have moved more than 10 times in my life and, for the first time since I went away to college, I have found a place I will actually call "home."
2. What needs to change?
* I am extremely hard on myself. I constantly replay anything I have said to another person in my head, wondering if it could be taken the wrong way or if I should have said it differently. I make myself feel straight up stupid to the point that, at times, I won't say a word because, in my head, I've already said like 10 things to someone next to me and not one of the fake scenarios ended in my favor. Instead, I sit there, feeling stupid until the person is no longer present and then I beat myself up about it. Even worse, is when I do say something because ,God knows, if I have ever come back and apologized to you personally or via text message about potentially offending you, you can be sure I had been thinking solely about what I had said from the point it occurred until the moment I contacted you. My stomach was in knots and then stayed that way until I (hopefully) received a response.
* I never take credit for my own accomplishments. At some point in my life, I decided if I said I was proud of myself for doing something well, I was being a braggart. I would be outcast if I actually directed attention to myself because I I didn't deserve it. Someone had done whatever I had better than me so how dare I feel accomplished.
* I can't give myself a compliment. I tell other women how beautiful they are but you would have never heard me call myself that word.
* I let fear keep me from doing what I truly want to do.
3. How can I make these changes
* I am going to stop apologizing. No, this doesn't mean if I bump into someone I won't give a quick ," oh I'm sorry, are you okay?" If I offend you, I'm sorry, but this is something I need to work on and the way I am going to do that is by not apologizing for the next month. ( Okay, we won't count that one. 😉)
* I am going to start writing about what I should be proud of myself for! I'm going to stop worrying about people's opinion of if I am being too boastful or full of myself. The book I just read had the line, " other people's opinion of you is none of your business." Those words have been running through my mind since I read them.
* I am starting training for a half marathon today. In junior high, we had the dreaded mile run. Oh. My. God. It was awful. It wasn't just the run itself. I was never even able to finish. Unknown to me, I had asthma and I would look and breathe so horribly, my gym teacher wouldn’t let me finish! That stuck with me. No, I don't blame the teacher. I probably looked like I would die. I felt like it. But from that moment until about a year or so ago, I believed that I could never be a runner. I also have a bad knee and a hip that pops out on the same leg. A few weeks ago, for the first time ever, I ran 2 miles consecutively. I was so proud of myself! I wanted to post it on Facebook but as I opened the website, the first post I saw on the feed was about someone running 6 miles. I was like... okay yeah I'm an embarrassment. Yes, I told a coworker and my parents. But I didn't let myself be happy with my own accomplishment. I also said to myself, " well, I will never be able to do that." I'm sick of being the one to tell myself "I can't" when what I should really be saying is, " it won't be easy but I will do my best."
On this blog, I will give updates on my training for my first half marathon, as well as my other challenges to myself. As previously stated, I'm going to explain what in the world "butimus (BOO-TI- MUS) one" is. When I was a little one, my mother (who is also a teacher) would already be at work when it was time for me to get ready. My father was givien the wonderful task of trying to get me ready each day from preschool on up. Now, I have an amazing father, but as crazy as it sounds, he didn't grow up styling women's hair! Being the awesome guy he is, he still attempted every day by putting my hair in a ponytail. When he finished, he would say "okay turn around!" If it looked halfway decent, he would shout, " butimus!" If it was absolutely terrible, he'd say, ".... not so butimus. Turn around."
When I was a kid, I learned license plates had 7 spaces. I told dad, mine will say, " BUTIMUS." I never got that plate. Not because it wasn't available or I didn't want to pay for the vanity. I was afraid I would sound cocky and I would get out of the car and not look so " butimus." I felt that I couldn't have picked a more fitting name for this page.
If you have gotten this far, thank you! I will try to update at least once per week with my progress.... but if I don't.....I am not apologizing .
Ashley
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